The War In My Bones

A friend suggested a family tree might be helpful when I explain the Mom-and-Pop merger, i.e., the big family I grew up in. I usually tell folks that I grew up in a his, hers, and ours family. Today, we’d be called a blended family. But it does get a smidge complicated.

I was probably ten or twelve before I understood why I had brothers and sisters with different last names. We were never labeled or instructed to label ourselves as anything but brothers and sisters. All the rules of the typical nuclear family applied.

As a tiny person, I asked Mom once if I could have both last names so I’d fit in better with my older brothers and sisters. I don’t remember exactly how she answered my question, but I do remember her puzzled, head tilted expression. She might not have given an explanation, telling me I was too little to understand and to go play.

Here goes…………..

Pop, John Riley Potts, came to the table from his previous marriage with a step-daughter, Jo Ann Poole, and a daughter, Catherine Lea Potts. One dad, two daughters, two last names.

Mom, Alycedene Stulting Deibel, came to the table from her previous marriage with three sons, Richard Lee Deibel, Fredrick Austin Deibel, and David Newton Deibel, and a daughter, Elisa Ruth Deibel. One mom, four kids, all named Deibel.

Mom and Pop’s merger resulted in me, kid number six, Ada Dene Potts. When I speak of my older brothers and sisters, I actually mean three older half-brothers, one older half-sister, and one older stepsister.

You got it so far? To complicate it a little further, names were shortened, and Catherine went by Cappa. Stay with me and try to follow along. In order of chronological appearance: Rick, Fred, Lisa, Jo Ann, Dave, Cappa, and Ada. Here are some faces to put with the names.

Christmas 1964: Top, left to right are Lisa, Fred, and Rick. Bottom, left to right are Cappa, Jo Ann, and Dave. I’m still in the oven, so this is just the his and hers kids.

Summer 1969: Top left to right are Fred, Rick, Mom, and Dave. Bottom left to right are tiny me, Jo Ann, Lisa, and Cappa. No Pop in the photo because he’s the one with the polaroid.

Christmas 1973: Guys in the back, left to right are Rick, Fred, Pop and Dave. Gals in the front are Cappa, Moi, Mom, and Lisa.